Elusive

It's been two months into my unemployment journey and my optimism is starting to wither just a tad. Don't get me wrong, I haven't given up the fight, it's just that some of my self-pep talks and those given to me by well-wishers are starting to sound eerily familiar.

Don't worry, the right one will come along

When you find the right one, you will know it

It's their loss, they couldn't see how terrific you are

You are better off without them anyhow

There are some other comparable patterns that make me uneasy as well.

I've been on some great interviews, have gotten pumped, told all my friends and family, pictured my first day, my one year anniversary, my retirement party. Then nothing - zip, zilch. I am lucky if I get an automated email message weeks later telling me the position has been filled. The lesson I have learned from this is to keep my mouth shut when I have these fantasies - that way I don't have to explain to my Aunt Hilda at the next family wedding that it fell through, apparently it wasn't "The One." I will then proceed to get drunk.

Other experiences leave me scratching my head on why they call me in to interview in the first place. I'm up-front about my salary requirements (although they become more and more negotiable by the second) and expectations. Of course these are the positions I immediately get offers on. Don't get me wrong, I'm not being overly-choosy at this point but some of these offers would send me back 10 years in the wrong direction.

The job hunt, like the love hunt, seems to have no middle ground. It leaves me thinking about the past and re-evaluating every decision I have ever made in my life to get me to this point. But then something will pop up, a wonderful prospect and my heart will skip, my hope will be restored.

I may get crushed but then again, maybe not. One never knows. For now I continue to plug along.